Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
