is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
