I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had to cum in my sink.
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