you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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