this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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