We won't sleep together?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
