I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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