you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
