i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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