At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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