you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
