i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is my gift to your gina
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
