I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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