hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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