I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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