the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
