I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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