So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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