i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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