I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
