The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need water and some morals
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
