So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
