Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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