problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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