He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
