she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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