Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
