We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
