Christians are straight up FREAKS
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
