I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
