You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
