I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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