Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
