dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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