tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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