This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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