Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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