What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize