What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
