are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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