Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
