On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
