I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
