woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
