I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
