Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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