Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
