i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I understand Curling. That high.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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