i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
