return my video game
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
