Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
