I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
