Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
