He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
