We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
