I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
